Lea este artículo en español
Juan is a former gang member from the city of Indio. Originally from Tijuana, where he lived with his parents before the family moved to the United States, Juan struggled early on to find his place as a newly arrived immigrant and quickly became the target of vicious bullying in school.
For Juan (we’re not using his real name to protect his identity), joining a gang offered the respect and support he needed, although at a price.
An only child, Juan, now an adult, says he grew up in a working-class home in Tijuana, where he attended school until the fourth grade. His mother washed other people’s clothes to help support the family, while his father was “very hard-working.” Despite his humble circumstances, Juan says the family never lacked food.
But in 2000, Juan’s father received a message from his brother in Indio, inviting him to come. With their economic situation in Mexico worsening, Juan’s father decided to take the family north in search of a better life. At first, they lived with Juan’s uncle and his family, working in the fields around Indio.
Juan, meanwhile, entered elementary school speaking not a single word of English, which he says was a source of embarrassment. “They’re going to laugh at me,” “they’re not going to understand me,” Juan remembers thinking. At times he heard students tell him to “go back to your country.”
Juan says that these first days in the United States were difficult and traumatic for him, and he often wondered how he could make things better. “How could I get the other kids to accept me?” It was the only thought he woke up with almost every morning before going to school.
Still, he never spoke to his parents and never reported the bullying to his teachers or counselors because, he says, the other students had threatened to assault him if he did so.
And Juan is not alone. A recent study conducted by the Boys and Girls Club found that 40% of young people in the United States experienced some form of bullying on school property last year, and that of these 38% did not report it to an adult.
For Juan, the bullying continued into middle school, where he eventually connected with a group of students who were members of a local gang. It was at that moment that Juan says he began to feel for the first time that he had support and a shield from the bullies who had been tormenting him.
Gangs have had a long presence in and around the Coachella Valley, and while their numbers today are smaller than they were when Juan was in school, they remain a reality for many communities and a draw for young people like Juan who feel isolated or vulnerable.
Juan says that for the first time since arriving in the US he felt accepted and protected after joining a gang, and that with that newfound sense of confidence he began to turn on other vulnerable students, whether white, African American or other Latinos.
According to Juan, going from being bullied to being the bully bolstered his self-esteem and helped him “gain credibility” with his new circle of friends. One day, he says, he started attacking another classmate during PE. The altercation became physical, with Juan striking the other student, after which he was expelled from school and sent to a juvenile detention center.
It was there that for the first time Juan began to consider his situation. He met with counselors, psychologists and other positive influences in the community who shared with him their own stories about leaving the gang life behind and moving forward positively.
When he was released, he was assigned a two-year probation officer who he credits with helping him stay on track. He also credits an older cousin who he says, “was always there when I was going through those difficult times.”
Still, exiting the gang was difficult both for Juan and his family. They had to move to another city, change their phone number, and stop visiting places that he used to frequent so as not to encounter other gang members.
Juan says he is sharing his story now because he wants to encourage parents to stay involved in their children’s lives as much as possible, to check in on them to see how they are doing in school and to make sure they aren’t falling in with the wrong crowd. And while he acknowledges that his own parents would occasionally ask him how his days were going, or if anyone was bothering him, he never told them anything for fear of retaliation from his classmates.
Having an adult at school that he could trust would have helped break that silence, he says, adding that schools need to do more to make sure students who are being bullied – especially newly arrived immigrants with limited English – have the space to express their feelings and to know that they are not alone.
This resource is supported in whole or in part by funding provided by the State of California, administered by the California State Library in partnership with the California Department of Social Services and the California Commission on Asian and Pacific Islander American Affairs as part of the Stop the Hate program. To report a hate incident or hate crime and get support, go to CA vs Hate.
